Laughing in Chinese – a Short Essay

Note: This essay was written for The New School University’s International Student Services 2011 essay contest. The theme of the contest was: “Global Exchanges: Stories of Your Journey from Here to There.” It was originally published in a printed booklet and in a PDF version on their website (available along with other essays by clicking here). It was awarded second place.

In the fall of 2007, a few days after my 24th birthday, my boyfriend Owen and I moved from the clean air and quiet of the American Northwest to Yichang, a small city of four million in the rural Chinese province of Hubei.

We arrived on Mid-Autumn Festival. At the airport a woman with unblinking eyes and thick lipstick held a photograph of me. We were the only foreigners at the small airport but still she looked doubtful when we approached, turning the image around to examine it again, “You are so young!” She said, looking back to me from the paper. This was our coordinator.

That evening our employing high school insisted on a welcome dinner and, despite our jetlag, we obliged. At dinner we met the other two foreign teachers. Both American men; one in his early twenties and new to China, the other – our team leader – thirty, had been in the country a few years.

We ate in a private room at a restaurant in a local hotel. The table was round but still there was etiquette about seating arrangement. The vice principal sat in the corner furthest from the door with the fullest view of the room, as honored guests we sat on his right. The woman next to me spoke excitedly about having us teach English at her school and told us to call her Green. I nodded, assuming she was somehow affiliated with the high school.

I had visited China when I was younger and in the months preceding our move I’d tried to inform Owen about customs that could catch a foreigner off guard. One I’d neglected to mention was the toasting of baijiu (literally “white liquor”), a foul-smelling clear beverage with high alcohol content. Green toasted us several times, electing to drink yogurt over baijiu she pressured us to agree to teach classes. The room was loud and full of strange smells. The colors of the food, tablecloth and clothing seemed to blur together.

“We don’t know,” we told her as she pushed harder. Eventually the team leader stepped in and told her we’d discuss her plans later.

That night a portly man with a red face named Xiang explained that he was a Party official at the school and that it was his job to be our friend in Yichang. After dinner we declined to go to a karaoke parlor with the other teachers so Xiang walked us home. As we moved through strange streets overflowing with evidence of change – scaffolding, piles of bricks, sand, honking shiny-new taxis on the wrong sides of the street – strangers asked Xiang questions.

“There are not many foreigners in Yichang,” he explained. Along the sidewalk we passed row after row of prostitute parlors. As though purchased from a catalogue, each was identical: blue glass sliding doors printed with bold red characters. On the sidewalk, unevenly spaced, branchless trees spanned the length of the block. Above us people shot fireworks from their windows. “Today is a holiday,” Xiang said as we watched fireworks explode near the thick bundles of wires strung along the street. We turned through a narrow gate and found ourselves in the courtyard of two cement slab buildings. We said good night to Xiang, pulled ourselves up three flights of stairs and, nearly overtaken by exhaustion, we were finally home.

We lay in bed watching as the vibrations from the fireworks loosened clumps of dust on our light fixture. It fell like snow, dancing through the light from the single operating bulb. Our bodies were stiff from 48 hours of travel but our minds raced from over stimulation. The windows rattled, loose in their sills, and a strange smell permeated from the pillows. At around 3 AM, when we’d finally drifted off to sleep, a spider leapt from the ceiling onto my face. Two hours later, as though started at the wave of the conductor’s wand, the metal-smithing shop outside our window and the remodeling one floor above began a melodic cacophony of sledgehammers, electric saws, and welding.

After a morning of cleaning and purging, the apartment was nearly empty and still filthy. Xiang came early that afternoon and informed us that we needed to come with him to Wuhan, the provincial capital, for our medical exams (an integral part of our resident permit applications). We boarded a bus only to learn it would be a five-hour trip each way and that we would stay overnight.

In Wuhan we became survivors. We survived a night in a tiny hotel room where everything – from the dirty carpet and the padded headboard to the sheets and towels were so scarred with cigarette burns it almost seemed like a theme. We survived the taxi ride to the hospital during which, after a missed turn, the driver floored it for three blocks, going backwards the wrong way on a one-way street through heavy oncoming traffic. At the hospital we survived chest x-rays, blood samples, ultrasounds, and urine tests where the cups sat uncovered on a tray with 50 other samples and the bathrooms contained no soap or stall doors. Late that night, while we sat on the bus exhausted and recapping our journey thus far, an irrepressible urge to laugh overtook us and we giggled hysterically for miles. In the seat across from us Xiang giggled too.

Back in Yichang we slowly began to understand our surroundings. We walked for hours in every direction until we gained a sense of our neighborhood as a community beyond what we’d seen the first night. We learned Green was a businesswoman unrelated to our school. She hoped to use us for her expensive English classes. We taught an adult speaking class twice at her school but the students seemed distracted. Later Green explained, “They say you are very young.”

The adventures piled up quickly. All five senses were constantly overwhelmed and we were rarely comfortable. Without warning, the water in our apartment would shut off for days. Access to electricity was random. Everywhere we looked things were changing. A restaurant we’d eaten at for weeks suddenly shut and three days later reopened as a laundromat.

… … …

The school had a sideways way of telling us to do things. We quickly became aware that their suggestions were not optional. After four months the younger American had had enough and headed home. Things were never quite what they were presented to be, and our contracts, we learned, were not definitive. Like our laughter on the bus returning from Wuhan, we chose to find the difficulties entertaining, and, though we were occasionally frustrated, we searched for humor instead of dwelling on problems. Each exploitative activity or inconvenience added to our amusement.

The young American was replaced by a young South African. After a week of classes at the high school we found him huddled under an awning near our apartments struggling to light a cigarette, crying. The team leader also suffered a breakdown, eventually refusing to speak with Xiang or the coordinator.

Through the comforts we found in small things we became more than survivors – The scallion pancake lady who refused to let us eat her product cold. Watching the noodle man twist, throw and pound his dough. The discovery of peanut butter at a local grocery store. Sitting by the river watching boats pass. Walking in new parts of the city – these simple activities allowed us moments of peace and reflection.

We learned that despite the differences, Chinese people are like people everywhere else – many are very kind; others are not. Perhaps it’s because we were young and more ready to laugh than most foreigners but everywhere we went people giggled at us. It gave us the impression that people understood that a lot about the world is ridiculous. In Yichang, we found it was the foreigners, overcome with cultural vertigo, too certain about their own cultural ideas, who made our lives most difficult. Taking on extra classes to cover for the South African, parleying messages to the team leader. This was also the case during our second year in the modern, international city of Nanjing.

After two years we moved away from China. We walked across Spain, relaxed in Thailand and ate Thanksgiving in the quiet warmth of my family’s log home in snowy Alaska. We missed the excitement of China where we’d learned that all experiences should be interpreted with humor and humility, that discomforts cannot be taken personally and where through the challenges of daily life we raised our levels of tolerance and our understanding of the world as a whole.

In September we returned. Not for more adventures, though they are sure to follow, but to live in an environment that encourages and requires self-awareness as only a truly foreign place can. This year, though once again in a smaller city, we have little contact with foreigners and find ourselves more comfortable than ever before here in China.

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RESOLVING CHAOS

My boyfriend Owen and I have started a new project based site: http://resolvingchaos.com/.  We’re just starting to build it up so check it out and let us know what you think when you have time!

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Hello, My Name is:

I made this as part of a series for a typography assignment in my Design Concepts class.  I guess the colors weren’t web safe because they look a little different online but I thought I’d share it anyway.  I like my name; it is fun to play with and captures the duality of the world in a [natural] way.

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MEdia Studies Map

NOTE: This was my response to one of the first discussion questions in my Understanding Media Studies class.  It was originally posted to our Ning group on Feb. 4, 2011.  Briefly, we were asked to “discuss [our] own ‘map’[s] of the field of media studies thus far…” In re-reading my response I now see that it is a great introduction to me as well and that, in the end, it is surprisingly accurate in predicting my new fascination with design.  I have added a link to the Atheneum school’s website.

Perhaps a timeline of events, classes and experiences would be sufficient to describe the beginnings of a personal map in most fields but, as Shannon explained Media Studies in her lecture, I do not see a clear highway towards some distant goal but instead a meandering series of country roads, forking, crossing, heading towards wild, unpaved places and following perpendicular to better known thoroughfares.   These routes appear peppered with inspiring scenic view points, ripe for adventure but also, for some, as a way to get from one place to another.

My own map, at this point, also meanders.  There is no discernible starting point though there are clear memories of experiences.  For the sake of clarity I’ll present it as episodes but, using the map above, you can think of them as stops at scenic view points.

1. I am very young and very small sitting in front of a large box with a black screen with green marks on it.  I recognize those marks to be what I have been told are called letters. I poke at a long, thin box embedded with many small boxes and the letters appear on the screen.  I like this game more than my history book but less than recess.

2. I am standing in heavy winter clothes with my fingers balled up in my gloves, poles dangle from straps around my wrists and my feet are bound into skis.  The skis are perpendicular to the fall line.  I stand in a group of my peers on the side of an Alaskan mountain.  We are ten or eleven in age and a man with a baseball cap, walkie-talkie, red beard and tan work gloves explains the ideal design of a slalom turn.  He throws around words like “apex,” “arch,” “edge,” “base” and “rise-line.”  Some of these words are new.  We fidget and pretend to understand.  The man takes us to an untouched deep snowfield, lines us up across the top and directs us to take turns drawing our own slalom courses through the snow.

When the whole group gathers at the bottom we look up to discover a series of squiggly lines, all similar, none the same.  From these lines we learn the meaning of the man’s words.

3.  I’m at my middle school, Atheneum, an experimental school for 6th through 12th graders.  In the morning the day starts with 45 minutes of tai chi practice.  Afterward we sit around the table in our humanities class discussing Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, and are genuinely concerned about distinguishing reality from shadows.  Later we talk about the Buddhist concept of Beginner’s Mind and question how the wall of the cave and the perception of true reality effect openness and eagerness to learn – is it better to be ignorant with the shadows or to think you better know reality?  We dissect Euclid’s Elements and fish in the same afternoon.  I come to see that knowledge is something fun, elusive and addictive.

4.  I’m thirteen in the Galapagos Islands.  I have a Gortex cast on my arm from a downhill injury and the salt water makes the surgeon’s mark itch.  I crawl on my belly in the sand with the sea lions, a camera in my right hand made awkward by the cast is steadied and focused by the left.  I take 12 rolls of 36 exposure slide film.  I swim with sharks, penguins and iguanas.  I search with my classmates for the 13 shorebirds that migrate yearly from Alaska to the Galapagos and back.  I think of myself as one of those shorebirds and hope to return to the islands some day.  When I get home I find that my shutter has stuck and most of my photos are ruined.  I am disappointed and frustrated but still to this day (though I have not yet been back) will tell you the Galapagos is one of the most wondrous places on earth.

5.  I am twenty-five.  I have been reading stories written by Bruce Chatwin and interviews with Werner Herzog.  Both consider walking long distances an important aspect of a person’s life.  I have been considering film school but decide to first try what Herzog tells the interviewer he thinks would be better.  My boyfriend and I walk for thirty days – 500 miles across Spain, starting in the French Pyrenees and finishing at the ocean in Finisterra (translated: the end of the earth).  There is no rain the entire month until the last two kilometers when the sky opens up and begins to pour.  Luckily, there is a bar at the end of the earth.  We drink shots of whiskey and red wine and worry about how we will ever stop walking – will it be strange after this long routine?  Outside it is raining very hard and there is a three kilometer walk back to town.  As the first car passes I instinctively stick out my thumb.  We climb into the warm car, entering the first vehicle we’ve entered in all of Spain and suddenly there is closure.

6.   I am at a zoo in a small town in China where I am living with my boyfriend.  The animals are mangy and surround by piles of manure.  We find a cow giving birth with a set of legs protruding from it’s backside.  Not once do I question why there is a cow in this zoo with the black bears, tigers, lions, monkeys and other exotic examples of world wildlife.  The cow does not appear to be in pain but we figure a zookeeper ought to know this is happening.  We wander the paths of the zoo quickly and find no one.  The paths twist and we continually find ourselves in front of the birthing cow.  The legs do not seem to be moving and the baby does not seem to be any further along.  We assume it must be a still birth, though we have never seen a cow give birth before so we think maybe the babies are always still at this point – we are getting more anxious to let someone of authority know in case the adult cow’s life is in danger.  At the front gate where we have paid the woman is asleep on her desk.  I try two times to wake her gently before giving up and diving back into the depths of the zoo in search of a keeper.  A few more rounds prove futile.  The cow is now lying down acting strangely calm in the face of our concern.  We exit the zoo looking for someone else we can alert.  On our way out we spot a poster featuring all of the animals, including the cow.  We are about to walk away when we notice two legs protruding from the back of the cow in the photograph.

I will stop here.  With these six randomly chosen memories (they were the first that came to mind) I hope to illustrate for you how I view my current personal map of media studies.  These memories don’t necessary appear connected but each successive experience, whether cognitively or not, was filtered through a past one.  The way I comprehended and reacted to my surroundings at the Yichang zoo arose from the earlier experiences as well as my formal education up to that point.  Just as media studies as a field is defined by an amalgamation of many different areas of knowledge, so is my life, from early youth until now and on, into the future, a combination of many different methods and topics of learning.  In traveling I have learned to be flexible and to look for lessons everywhere.  At the zoo there was an obvious lesson: look at the signs upon entry.  Some of the other lessons were more cryptic or required more meditation and thought.  I’m not sure I’ll ever fully understand what I learned from walking but it is a pleasant memory of a simplistic month of neat routine.

In college I studied Film and Rhetoric.  The major included both practice and theory courses.  My school also required me to take classes in many other disciplines including the Social Sciences, Fine Arts and English.  Concerning schooling, in my past I find bits and pieces of the four sections Shannon introduced as the comprising elements of Media Studies.  The area of those four I know the least about is Design Studies.  I suppose this would rest at the periphery of my map, waiting to be further discovered.  At the center lies not the formal educational training but my life experiences like those described above.  I have found that doing things seemingly unrelated to my education helps me to gain a deeper understanding of the ideas I have been taught.  My schooling together with my personal hobby of reading encompass my experiences as the Ozone Layer encompasses the earth.  To use my initial analogy, perhaps the meandering roads are my education, the unrecognized, under-credited paths to the experiences.

To draw out my map in 2D you would see rough descriptions of roads crisscrossing between intricately drawn viewpoints of experience.  The roads are necessary, and to get to new destinations I need more of them.   Through this program I hope to build new winding, thinking roads of semiotics, criticisms, etc.  Roads built as always on the basis of questions.  And, through the projects, the doing, attached to these classes I hope to experience some new scenic view points to add to my collection of memories.

I don’t want to create an atlas but I do want a sprawling assortment of ways to go.  Maybe, somewhere in this labyrinth of wonderfully flexible studies, I’ll find a road I recognize, a road that makes me slow down to really examine its structure, a road that is an experience within itself, a road that I want to follow.

After note:
If you have made it this far I owe you some sort of gift of hospitality and thanks.  All I can offer you is this photo of the six legged cow.  Unfortunately it is not the best photo as it was taken in haste when we were worried about the safety of the cow – taken in hopes that a photograph would do for us what (with our minimal Chinese skills) verbal language couldn’t in that situation.  Also, the poster.

 

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Hand Stretched Noodles – 4RMB

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